Ludwig van Beethoven .  What a name.  Long have I loved it, and how could you not?  With such constants strung together in euphoric sequence of German connotation…it positively oozes class.

If you were going to force me to sit down and pick a favorite composer, it would be Ludwig (and yes, I feel like I’m on a first name basis with the guy).  I discovered him while in the lap of my grandmother, and she handed me a fine porcelain doll.  Delight does not do to justice to what I felt with this doll.  She had perfect white skin, flowing chestnut hair, and a dress made of red velvet and trimmed with black fur.  Consider then, how ecstatic I was when I turned her over and found a small knob on her back.  My grandmother turned it a few times, and I was thus introduced to Für Elise.

I was consumed.

And so my affair began.  Perhaps he is my favorite because so much of his work was accessible to me.  I no longer felt as much melancholy for my piano lessons, because now I could study and play Beethoven.  I have a book full of Beethoven piano solos, and it’s been with me since I was 6 years old.  The binding has long since eroded, so really it’s more of a stack of loose and yellowed pages, scribbled with fingerings and notations about tempo, but I still take it out to play.

I’m not quite so clear on remembering when I first heard Symphony No. 6 in F.  Honestly, it could have very well been while watching Fantasia.  I would like to think my virgin experience was a little less Disney, but what can you do.

No matter what kind of day…what kind of mood…how absolutely desolate I am feeling…the Pastoral always speaks to a buried shred of joy, nurtures it, entices it, and raises it to pure euphoria.

I have grown out of Für Elise…but never the Pastoral.

It is because of this that my first post should be the Pastoral.  Not my first love, but certainly my oldest, and what could be a more fitting tribute to this glorious spring day?

Be sure to check my page about The Rules.  It’s important to really immerse yourself in the music.  It should wash over you and surround you, until you are aware of nothing else but the instruments speaking to you in divine harmony.  Only then can you really appreciate mastery.

So we begin… (more…)

Let’s face it.  We all want to be popular.  We want people to look at us with awe and whispers of admiration to follow in our wake.  We want to be invited to every party and be the center of attention once we get there.  We want all the ladies/gents to think we’re damn sexy.

Fortunately for you, I’m here to help you.

It’s a good time to be a geek.  Geek is chique.  A brain is as much a crowd pleaser as a flat tummy and big guns.  That’s why there’s hope for you.  I know you’re not one of those brainless jocks, because if you were, you’d still be trying to spell S-Y-M-P-H-O-N-Y.  You wouldn’t have even made it here.

So how am I going to help?

I’m going to teach you to listen and appreciate music.  We’re not talking the current top 40…we’re talking good music that’s been around for centuries.  You’re going to be dignified and sophisticated.  You’re going to take people by surprise with your depth and personality.  When people roll up next to you at a stop light, they’re going to be vibrated from the bass coming out of your car.  They’ll roll their eyes, but you’ll just smile and slowly lower your window.  The crescendo of a Beethoven symphony will crash upon them with the might of a gavel of poetic justice, as you cruise away with dignity and pride.

Impressed, the guys and gals will nod approvingly.  They will secretly long to be you.

Together, we’re going to listen to a piece of music and learn to really hear it.  We’re going to savor it, as a connoisseur would taste a fine wine.  We’ll let it swirl in our heads and open our mind to it’s suggestions.  We’ll experience whole new levels of emotion, come to a climax, then descend to a state of peaceful tranquility.

Yes, it will be better than sex.

This will be a platform…a tool in your new arsenal of ways to be irresistible.

Intrigued?  Good for you.  I knew there was hope for you.